Monday, 4 February 2008

Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem - Dir. Brothers Strause (2007)

Feeling more like 'Alien and Predator vs Typical Teenage America', this life-less action-adventure film involving two past-it Sci-Fi characters is nothing less than a dreadfully clichéd waste-of-money sequel. With a particularly heavy emphasis on the word 'clichéd'.

Instead of a 'hive' (or general nest of alien anarchy) being found by unsuspecting explorers, this time around it is the unlucky residents of Gunnison, Colorado who unfortunately find there lives turned up-side down by an infestation of Aliens and one really, really dedicated Predator who seems to be . The film's only fan, one would assume.

What follows is scene-upon-scene of human slaughtering awfulness, as the typical American Teen Boy (Johnny Lewis), gets smitten with the typical American Teen Girl (Kristen Hager), while the clichéd reformed criminal (Steven Pasquale), helps the inept Sherriff (John Ortiz) who intern ends up getting many, many people killed in a very unsatisfying way...For the viewer that is, as keeping track of what's happening will make you wish, you were there and right in the middle of Alien nest.

With a life-less, unbelievably idiotic script constantly is setting the 'AVP' ship astray ("Everybody's dead. We need guns." - Surely a line, one of many, worthy of a mention), the film's last life-line comes in the form of D-List actors who offer nothing more than laughable acting, something which I expect in 'Asylum' films, but not a 20th Century Fox production.

Finally when the credits rolled, I felt disturbed and violated for the fact that I'd just paid to see this god-awful car-crash of a so-called 'action-adventure film'. If the Brothers Strause removed the life-less acting and replace the stereotypical characters with a crate full of Aliens and Predators and let the blood flow, they may have saved this from being one of the worst films of 2008 already...